​Ticktock-ticktock, It Doesn’t Stop!

​Ticktock-ticktock, It Doesn’t Stop!
Ticktock-ticktock ran the clock,
I couldn’t keep up to it,
It wouldn’t care to stop.

Running away from my reach,
Like a deer from the lion’s stretch.

Anticipated and worked simultaneously,
Things were so quiescent and progressive.

Remained casual and relaxed,
Nothing more than a day in wane.

Does this unremitting race of life have a break?
Would time stop for yours, mine or anyone’s sake?

The answer is the mere two letter word we hate,
No matter how much we dislike this fact, there isn’t any scope of rebate.

So let’s stop cursing this nature of nature, instead,
Let’s pull our socks, charge ourselves,
And start once again, towards the goals that once we wanted to chase.

Growth begins with the will to start,
You’ve got to run with every beat that comes from your soul, mind and heart.

Every moment counts,
Every beat counts,
Every step counts,
Because success is not what the result is,
It’s the passion you walk along with.  
Manav Mahendar Gadiya 

The Illusionary Escalator. 

All my ego wants is to be sitting by a lake in Italy. It doesn’t want to be backstage, warming up. Nicholas James Murphy better known by his stage name Chet Faker, is an Australian electronica musician.
 The minute we start placing our ego in front of our dedication and will, the only trend we will follow the downward one. 
 As I have always written, spoken and believed in, that we are surely the fastest progressing generations of all, but some where, we are hindering our own growth as we are placing, what is nothing less than a virtual self-obsessed image of our own. 
 If I look back, I have done the same mistake. But what is important at the end of the day? We keep forgetting it, that the more we want to speak, the lesser we hear. Something that a senior MUNner from the Bangalore circuit has taught me. (Amogh Chakravarthy) He hasn’t won a MUN, but trust me, I have learnt the most from him. What makes him that special is not because he communicates well, but he talks with experience and with that humble nature of acceptance that, “If I don’t know, then I am ready to learn.” Something that is indeed, endangered in our generation. 
 There is so much of competition around. But we all are running a blind-man’s race. I say this because, we take part to win against others, and not learn and excel and be better than the rest. Ego and attention, two things that everyone gets after a point. But it is important to realise, that what makes one successful, is not either of them, or even the credentials, but what one learns, and how practically one moves along the wave of time. 

 

 It was said in the past, that more the human intelligence will progress, the greater harm will it cause it self. The mankind has learnt enough of it. And so is another saying, the more one’s ego will grow, the deeper one will fall. 

 Thus, I define ego as an illusionary escalator. You think you’re going higher, but it’s the opposite. 
 

Passing Clouds.

Even I have a heart. Even I am a human. Even I have emotions.

“The smile is surely cute and diplomatic but doesn’t last long for the same cause.”This is what I told a little junior of mine when she sat crying, as she didn’t become a prefect, and according to her, the non-deserving ones did. I told her that in a different context all together as she told me no one cares about her.

Everyday there is someone who tells me that I am smart, that I am popular, that I am talented but why don’t I have friends around me?
I sit back and think what the reason behind this rebellious attitude of mine is, that I do not want anyone to be close to me?

I had to trace back to my life when I was a third grader. Honestly, I was emotionally very sensitive. We all grow, and so did I. I could never mingle with the Madu groups around me because they took life a little too casually, while the others were having different perceptions and lifestyle all together. I was the kid that didn’t watch Ben-10 or Pokemon, may be a lot would say that then I hadn’t enjoyed my childhood, but not really, because there are tons of things that I did instead of computer games or television.

Time progressed, and I grew, I grew rapidly. A huge transformation from the 8th grade to the 9th, I successfully had a really good friend circle around me. Things were amazing. Those funny times at my place with all friends coming over, sitting on the pavements out SMV and having Maggi almost everyday. Nostalgic indeed.

You might think what happened after that, that makes me think this way about bonding today.

During the beginning of the 10th grade, when life wasn’t that easy for me, my group of friends helped me to reconstruct life fast and strong. Trust me, it wouldn’t have been possible without them. The lads know what they mean to me. But I am not sure what exactly happened, but as days went by, each and every one of them kept moving on their own paths and so did I but what was hurting was that they had started developing perceptions about me, that I am sure were wrong but I never complained. Including the girl, I am sure all of you know.

People started believing that I had become selfish, I tried to clear by saying that life isn’t the same for me and them, if I didn’t support my mom and family now by taking up responsibilities, that surely wouldn’t be right on my part. Nobody cared to understand though. Once again, there was that duration of depression in my life when I was completely not in anyone’s touch. This time, I grew up and got out of it on my own, and when I did and thought I would have my old life back, I was wrong.

Ever since then, I have believed that friendships and bondings are somethings that are not meant for me at all. Today, I rarely communicate, but I still do everything I can, but things surely aren’t the same from the other side of life’s court.

I remember my words to a teacher in the staff room during  when she asked,  “How is your life now, must be really hard to lose a mentor and walk alone?”, to which I replied, “Ma’am, the journey teaches us a lot, and what I have learnt is that this world is a very deceptive place. We think we have a lot of things, and a lot of times we are wrong. So it is better to fight the battle alone.” Filled with emotions of pain and grief, both our eyes were in tears.

I am still the same. What my past was, and my present is, doesn’t affect me, taking every moment and living it, dependent on none, but loving all.

Story Behind the Screen. II

“You are not living your life to the fullest.”
“You have grown up way too early.”
“Sometimes you need to chill out.”
“Dude, life isn’t about progress all the time.”
“Man, make some time for yourself, and chill out. You must be mentally stressed.”
“So much of philosophy isn’t good at this age man.”
 “You don’t need to have an opinion about everything.”
“Relationships are not that serious, take them easy mate.”

 The daily advices I get from the cool dudes around me. Some of you are reading this as well. Common misconceptions, I must say.

 The other day, the auditor, as he advising my mom on a few accounting issues, suddenly says that her two sons are may be pressurised with so much of burden and pain that life has put us in. My mom, shocked and terrified, asked him why does he feel so? And what makes him think that we are burdened?

 He went on to say that both, Sanjay bhaiya and me, are doing brilliant as far as academics is concerned, growing rapidly as business brains, maturing as family members and understanding and taking over our responsibilities, and both of us don’t really spend time out with friends. So he assumes that teens get pressurised in such a a state.

 My mom laughed. She said, they’re not my two sons, they’re my pillars, they’re my worries. And they raise their own standards everyday because they’re passionate about life and just not living it. 

  What affects the kids of the world doesn’t affect my kids. They were born to be their mom’s backbone. Trust me, nothing can make you feel better than your mom having trust in your capabilities and being proud of you. Life goals for me.
 
And similar did the teachers and friends feel like the auditors. But wait, let me for once answer these misconceptions. I am not under any pressure. As far as academics is concerned, my mom is fine with me scoring the 70’s and 80’s but I want to score the 90’s simply because my dad was always proud about them, and also that I never feel pressurised to study. And having no friends has been a constant policy as I always want to keep myself focused to the big goals and responsibilities I had and wanted to perform with all my efficiency.

 As far as relations would stand, I don’t consider them to be temporary like an ice candy’s structure, that it would melt with time, I believe that words could be temporary but not feelings, thus, when I say something, I stand by it. A lot of times my friends have called me a lot of things, but honestly, doesn’t make a difference. Like I have always believed, right will always be right and wrong will always be wrong.

 Thus, I live a life with an anticipation that tomorrow will be more beautiful and it is more important to enjoy tomorrow than today. So next time, do not sympathise me, because I am living every bit of life to its fullest.

The Paradox Of Life.

They preached what they saw,
They preached what they experienced.
But did they practice what they preached?

We know what is right and what is not,
But still assume the false will never be caught.

We are growing with better facilities, food and cloths,
But undermining the value and honesty of our souls.

An advice is considered as a restriction,
And contridicting opinions are considered transgression.

Much efforts are made to look good on the exteriors,
While overlooked to clean the interiors.

The urge to earn money started just as a need,
Today, it would not really be wrong to say that it is the face of greed.

Natural aesthetics are undermined in front of artificial ones,
Temporary goals and responsibilities are chosen over the primary ones.

Retaliation is the new breathing,
Debating is the new communicating,
Critics are the new leaders,
And absolutely no gratitude towards the creator.

The main ideology of every religion is to be the remedy for all discomforts and ills,
And we the humans, for our selfish perceptions and motives have used it as the distracting pills.

We wore the goggles to change our view,
We never accepted the required changes in our perceptions with moving time,
Blamed the ones who did and called it crime.

We learn and gives tests during our school days,
But in real life we give our exams and then learn our lessons, no one realised.

Appreciation is rare,
Aggression is common,
We know this not right, 
But this is the Paradox Of Life.

-M. Manav Gadia.

Story Behind The Screen.

 Every night I close my eyes, with is smallest ray of hope that he would wake me up when the sun rises. I sit where he used to, with the hope that he would ask me to get up and he would take his position. Every morning I have a glass of tea like he would, get ready, work fast at home and leave for shop, the way he expected me to. Everyday I study in hope that he would be proud of me.

 I comb my hair the way he used to, I wear my formals like he use to, I play the games he use to, I ride the scooter he did. My imaginations have gone beyond boundaries, a story everyday I imagine that he would come to me, to meet his awaiting younger son.

 In this search I made all his dreams my goals. Right from day 1. Became a captain, did my MUNs with complete passion, aced my academics. But one thing I didn’t do, was to help my mom manage the shop. Probably I was just a little kid to understand my responsibilities and my mom’s struggle, but with the mature decisions and perception that I have always had towards life, there still remains a lot guilt in me that I did not contribute while my mom was fighting a battle all alone with the cruel world in order to give me a happy life.

 When I lost my dad, on the 2nd day, my uncles came upto my mom, my brother and me, and told us, they wouldn’t bare even a scratch on either of us. They would protect us and would consider my mom to be their younger sister. That instigated a lot of confidence in me. But it didn’t take a lot of time to realise that words out of sympathy don’t last long. Supporting was far, but situations went worse. My mom didn’t complain, my brother retaliated many a times, and I would stand by him firmer as days went as I started realising what was happeneing, but she would calm us down and tell us to look at future and be independent.

 My friends and teachers also came to me and told me a lot of things when I was in depression, but everyone has their own role to play, no one will play your role I learnt soon. On the new years eve I went up to my mom and threw up cursing my selfish attitude and motives. I promised I wouldn’t remain the same. And all that had inspired me was her selfless, hardworking, versatile and amazing courage that she had lived and progressed with, inspite of the ruthless situations life has put her into time and again. 

 Ever since I have realised that life is all about survival of not only the fittest but the smartest and the one with courage, I have never believed in spending but earning. A lot of people have suggested me to relax by partying or going casual with things. My mom says I should probably decrease pressure I put on my MUN career and my studies. But I am willing to pay the price for what I want. May be not the happiest of today’s I am living as far as artificial and temporary things are concerned, but I am sure that my tomorrow, not matter what happens, I am ready to face it. And the only aim I right have is to get ready in every hemisphere in the upcoming 7 months before I am legally the one third of my dad’s successor. From relational maturity to a businessman. One has to be smart not only at one thing but at all in order to progress and succeed in life, I have learnt.

 Like my mom says and does, let’s save the fun and happiness for tomorrow, and slog today to progress. We will enjoy everything saved with interest.

I Am Me of Today.

 I have done a lot of things. A lot of things in the past that are not right, may be are stupid and surely embarrassing as well. I have peed my pants, cried to go school, cried to wake up on Sunday mornings to attend my karate classes, made excuses of having fever so that I could escape my abacus and school homeworks,  and yes not to forget, I used to cry when someone would not get my parents attention (that would be hardly for minutes though) and yes, would never ever accept getting out while playing cricket. Never.

 As I grew up a little more, I made mistakes but they were a little different from the earlier ones. My aggression and impatient attitude. The attitude to dominate everyone in order to achieve success. People still call me an arrogant human and much more. I would never like anyone being better than me. Probably one reason as to how I changed myself completely in such a short span of time. And it was not only that, the ambitious nature and the manipulative brain, is the deadliest combination to live with. For a year, I respected temporary feelings, achievements and everything over the permanent ones.

  But wait, am I the only one who has made these mistakes? Am I the only one who has had changes in attitudes and perceptions? Am I the only one who is not perfect?

  No. Of course, not. I am a human being (my name means the same, luckily) and I have all the rights to commit errors and learn from them. No human ever grew up without committing any errors. Impossible. No human ever grew up without a change in perception or attitude. Making mistakes and learning from them is a part and a very vital one for an individual to grow.

  Many a times, we see parents, teachers and elders, and ironically our own age groups judging us on what we were yesterday. But are we living are yesterday today? Of course we are not. The finest of critics are not the ones who only know to criticise, but accept and acknowledge reality regardless of the past.

  I am not ashamed to do this. So I will. And, I, Manav Gadia, apologise to every human out there, whom I have ever hurt knowingly or unknowingly, judged or criticised or their past, I am sorry.

  Let’s start a change. Let’s spread a smile but acknowledging what is right and what is wrong without any hindrance in our perceptions. Let’s not be afraid to apologise.  After all, acceptance is the 1st step towards growth.